Mad Lib & Annual Letter

in the holiday card sent to people whose addresses i have (and if you'd like one go ahead and send me your address and i'll send one your way!) there was a mad lib from "A Christmas Story". i didn't have the gumption to spell it out in its unaltered entirety in the space of the insert, so here is the original version crafted so expertly by Jean Shepherd (A Christmas Story, p.22):

"It did not pay to take chances, and so we waited in line for our turn. Behind me a skinny seven-year old girl wearing a brown stocking cap and gold-rimmed glasses hit her little brother steadily to keep him in line. She had green teeth. He was wearing an aviator's helmet with the goggles pulled down over his eyes. His galoshes were open and his maroon corduroy knickers were damp. Behind them a fat boy in a huge sheepskin coat stood numbly, his eyes watering in vague fear, his nose red and running. Ahead of my brother and me, a long, uneven procession of stocking caps, mufflers, mittens and earmuffs inched painfully forward, while in the hazy distance, in his magical glowing cave, Mister Claus sat each in turn on his broad red knee and listened to exultant dream after exultant dream whispered, squeaked, shouted and sobbed into his shell-like, whisker-encased ear."

my favorite christmas picture is of Nanny. Nanny was Jason and Ryan's neighbor across the street in Suratthani, Thailand, and on christmas they decided to decorate Jason and Ryan's tree outside with homemade ornaments. Nanny was pretty happy with the result. i miss both Nanny for her great humor (we used to speak in a random language to each other) and Jason and Ryan for creating a wonderful and inspiring space anywhere they went. Ryan is a wonderful photographer and took this picture.

i'll save the annual update for coffee conversations and just mention that:

I A M M O V I N G
as of Jan.15th, i'll be living in NoPo with some fabulous folks and am going to try to contrive a bike move the 14th if at all possible.

that's it. hope you're well. more about the bike move soon

remembrance of things past

talking to my parents as we trimmed the tree this evening, we waxed poetic (or perhaps just waxed) about the ghosts of christmas trees past. we Routh are rather fond of our tree choices - those trees that are off-kilter, somehow slightly askew are the ones that invariably find themselves bedecked in years worth of yuletide trinket collection. so we paused while admiring the fruits of our bedecking labors in order to pay tribute to arbors of yore.

my favorite recollection is actually from that of my teacher in china, whose son's class was learning about western holiday traditions during my wintertime spent in changchun. Shu's son's teacher wanted a christmas tree for the classroom but of course could not find one to cut down (trees are rare enough in cities as to not be available for the taking, and the country is difficult to access without private transportation which few have), so she decided that each student should have to bring a branch in as homework. the teacher would then bind them together, and the class would have their tree! now Shu's husband is a police officer, but they love their son, and the prospect of him not having a branch for the classroom tree was too much to bear, so in the dead of night, he took a saw and went into nanhu park. as he started cutting into one of the branches, he looked around carefully to see if anyone was watching him only to find that there were a few other parents doing the same thing. i didn't get to see the "tree" that the teacher bound together, but i imagine it looks rather like one in line with Routh tree specifications.

a week after this story was just after christmas and my next lesson with Shu Laoshi. this was the telling of the Stocking Incident. along with learning about christmas trees at public school, Shu's son also learned about christmas stockings at his after-school english class. he insisted on having a christmas stocking with a tenacity that almost led Shu Laoshi to distraction. they made great ceremony of hanging the stocking by the fire (actually the radiator connected to the bloc's centralized furnace, but whatever) with care and then went off to bed. in the middle of the night, however, Shu's son shook her awake and begged that the stocking be taken down because he was afraid that he would get coal in it because he had been such a bad boy. Shu Laoshi, though not fluent in the semantics of western holiday traditions, is very quick on the uptake and a clever woman who knows how to answer the door when opportunity knocks. in the following five minutes, she learned a great deal of her son's recent transgressions which he believed would provoke a coal-ated stocking come christmas morning. he got candy in his stocking, but i am sure not without first promising both his mother and santa claus to be better next year.

a deep, prolonged silence

as many friends and family members have come to expect from one stephanie routh, it has been a vast expanse of time since i have written in this here journal. to all three devoted perusers, i offer my usual profound apologies.

THE BRIEF SYNOPSIS
an overview of the past few months in chilly changchun:
well, the ktv foreigner christmas special aired on christmas eve. the critics (meaning my pint-size students and hutong neighbors) received it favorably and sang me snippets from my solo with smiling faces. potential embarassment averted. the cast party included russians, koreans, irish, canadians, and nigerians. great fun and a lot of dancing.
i just finished spending about 3 weeks with my mom and a bunch of linfield students careening around beijing, xi'an, hangzhou, suzhou, and shanghai. this will require at least one full journal entry, so i will leave it for the near future. let's just say it was quite the grand experience.
after much searching, michelle murray aka meng ling and i are planning to swing over to dalian next semester to sling yet some more english. we have been assured by a kickin' cat named bernard that our students will be eye-level with us, as it is a college. excited to be teaching folks with whom i may converse beyond "i want to eat an apple", but will so miss my bourgeoning english speakers at bai da wei! this, too, will require its own entry as well as pictures so that everyone can fully understand the cute factor. no, you cannot have them because they will forever and always be mine.

look forward to a recount of spring festival, or "how i learned to the love the fireworks". must go swimming now but shall expand on this abstract of a tale in the near future. meaning this millenium.
best to all, and may we all learn to get along in perfect harmony.

a KTV christmas

well, it's still bone-crackin' cold here in northern china with a high today of -4 celsius. happy unthanksgiving to all and hope those of you who indulged in post-thanksgiving consumerism were not trampled into wafers.

STRANGE SIGHTINGS
Acrobats--four high school students were seen travelling on one bicycle last week.
Hazy Shade of Winter--a few weeks ago the snow started up, and all us shivering inhabitants fell asleep to the glow of a white world only to wake up the next morning to an orange one. occasionally the wind direction changes and we get a visit from the gobi desert's more nomadic elements. the change in hue was, to say the least, notable.
Michelle's Restaurant--okay, this one is second-hand. michelle, another bai da wei teacher, lives above a restaurant which formerly belonged to a friend of ours. as she was walking home last week, she noticed one of the cooks take out some garbage to the dump in back, remove some meat on top of his bag, sniff at it, shrug, and walk back into the kitchen with sniffed meat in hand. despite this invitation to avoid eating there, michelle tried their fare and, shockingly enough (sarcastically), it wasn't very good. shockingly enough (sincerely), she didn't get retchingly ill from the experience.

GANENJIE ("THANKSGIVING")
everyone at bai da wei had america's thanksgiving day off for which we were all very thankful. the restaurant on the first floor affiliated with the school was also closed, and we were able to prepare a thanksgiving meal for 45 people in the kitchen. greg was in charge of the lamb, turkey and stuffing, nell in charge of pavlova, shea in charge of buttermilk biscuits, new michelle in charge of gravy, and i heading up the mashed potato front. the turkey was about a 35-pounder (according to my conversion from jin to kilograms to pounds) and came with claws, head and brains. sadly, my vegetarian self was not around to see the dead bird with head and feet intact, but shea tells me it was quite a sight to behold. the head and brains were on display in the fridge for all to see, and the claws were cooked with the rest of the carcass. serving the food had only one hitch, being that most of the chinese guests had any idea what stuffing or gravy were.

the pavlova was a hoot! pavlova is a baked australian
confection covered with fruit and whipped cream. nell the australian opted for kiwi as the fruit of choice, and she was in the process of slicing up the kiwi when kim the new zealander entered the kitchen. as you probably know, new zealanders are often referred to as kiwis since both the bird and the fruit are native to new zealand. so greg the south african told kim the kiwi to see what nell the australian was cutting up, and poor kim ran away screaming in outrage or fear (couldn't tell which). i won't belabor recounting our thanksgiving, but it was quite a gas and salved being so far removed from american freinds and family.

A KTV CHRISTMAS
so i guess i'm going to be on a nationally televised christmas program in china. david, the headmaster of my school, is directing the show and asked a bunch of us teachers to be in the special. nell and old michelle are performing a snowman dance (i'm looking forward to it) and the chorus is doing a few numbers in chinese and english. i am doing a solo and a duet in addition to the chorus stuff. the solo is "mai tang yuan," a vendor song about a kind of soup used to celebrate the lantern festival, and the duet is in catalan with a kick-ass woman named roser (her hometown is not far from cardona, marc torres-gual's hometown). none of the music is live for one reason or another, so we recorded the solo yesterday and are recording the other music today. during the solo recording, we went through it once straight and david then said to add character. "imagine you're missing teeth and have the clap." i'm looking forward to seeing the costume. perhaps the most interesting guy in this whole scene is robert, whom i will hereafter refer to as "mr. star search." during the intial organization meeting, mr. star search asked repeatedly when prospective soloists could expect a call and what opportunities for extra numbers there were and could we expect to be on national television more than once and could we receive individual copies of the program. i hear that one of his desired solos was sinatra's "my way." sadly, this wasn't deemed christmasy enough.

DINNER WITH KATE
i had dinner the other evening with kate, an english teacher at jilin university, and her friend darlington. after hearing about her students chronically cheating and her hardships with learning the language due in part to knowing so many chinese students who speak english well and in part to living on campus, i am beginning to rethink teaching at a university. my kids may not know much english but they are cute as hell. plus, i live in a small hutong and have to use chinese on a regular basis. decision pending.
darlington is from southern china, and he tapped two fingers on the table after i poured beer into his glass. i told him i had never seen anyone say thanks like that before, and kate asked me how i knew what that meant. i finally remembered that neal stephenson had referred to it in "the diamond age". the man does his homework.

sweet god, this entry is long!!! sorry. i'll finish by relaying that my mensa class (they're my smartest class) loves "you're older than you've ever been" by they might be giants. hope your thanksgiving was marvy and talk to you soon!